Spiritual Pain...

The way the "self" or "ego" reacts to contemplative efforts can be unpredictable, I guess... ways in which other "aspiring Contemplatives" have noticed reactions against (or maybe adjustments to) striving toward Union have included:• giddy sadness•  physical tremors, tense shaking, sudden outbursts (moans), violent jolts and jerks• tearless or "dry" sobs• tears• great Sadness - shared Joy• welling sensation of overwhelming joy, meloncholy, and warm comfort - like I've returned to the arms of a loving parent after having been lost and desperate for a long time• fullness and lightness• laughing or chuckling• desire to do nothing else but pray when not formally in practice