the more I write out my thoughts with the (even slight) possibility of it being read will lead to more clarity of thought and meaning of experience... that's the idea anyway. ive been practicing Christian meditation/contemplative prayer for 20 minutes twice a day for a while, reading more of contemplative christian/mystic authors, and finding some profound meaning in shifting certain thoughts, words, and actions to fit my experiences as authentically as possible. i plan to treat this informally, honestly, openly, briefly, and even almost haphazardly... not much extra research or stress about "if this is the right thing to say", so forgive the unreferenced and inaccurate quotes ...so, here goes..."I have been crucified with Christ. It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me"